i'm still alive.
how are you?

I'm still here.

I write more - way more - over at http://pantherqueen.wordpress.com, but there is something about LiveJournal that feels like coming home again. It'll never be how it once was, but it's not too bad.

I wonder what will happen when it's gone?

Anyway.... what's good with you?

I’ve been sketching way more often lately, which is proving to be simultaneously exhausting and relaxing. It feels nearly theraputic, especially when things need to be shaded with a mechanical pencil. It’s exhausting when you realize there are more ideas in your head than hours in the day it will require to get them all down. Part of my work lately has been just to practice the technique of getting things on paper as they are in real life.
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One of my favorite things about my house is how quiet it is – a far cry from the never NOT busy Mission Beach Boardwalk; my old neighborhood. The thought of how I had the opportunity to live oceanfront for six years and very rarely enjoy it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Moving forward: we’re down a little-used street – a dead end off a “No Through Street” kind of area. The neighborhood, while not the best, is essentially VERY quiet. You’ll hear the sounds of dogs barking, cars peeling out, traffic waves (like the ocean, but a little less methodical), wind, people faintly chatting, landscaping tools, the strains of occasional music, gunfire, the hum (and sometimes roar) of a plane or jet.

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it feels like all that my life is right now is art and illness. mostly illness. just when things are fine, they are suddenly not fine. today was a good day right up until about 5pm, when out of nowhere i started feeling nauseous. prior to that were three perfectly alright days. this stuff strikes with no warning. i'm trying to eat proper foods, very little sugar, that sort of stuff. but all i want to do is just never feel nauseous again. this is the first day i haven't immediately popped a meclizine when the nausea happens, mostly because there is only one pill left and i have a birthday party to go to next weekend up in rainbow. that way if i start feeling blah up there, i can take it and be okay. but i'll probably end up calling and asking for a refill on the prescription because screw all this. nausea is a stupid side effect of the labyrinthitis, apparently, but if this continues for another week it'll be time to go see the doctor yet again. the vertigo has basically gone away, though i can tell all is not right with my world still. i'm trying hard not to be a hypochondriac or that boring sick girl, but i need to talk about it somewhere. i just want to be normal again.

I’ve been making notes throughout the week when an idea for a post strikes me, and trying hard to not force a post. The plan for the evening was to come over here and talk about debt or exercise or my cat or post a sketch or something. Speaking of debt, remember how my other post was about trying to get out, right? Well, one version of my commute takes me past Spreckels, and I totally almost hit some pedestrians because of the marquee...
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It’s time – well past – that I started digging myself out of this hole. You know the one, it starts with a “D” and ends with an “Eht”. The “B” is silent for everyone’s favorite word: DEBT. Silent much like the ATM when I go to take money out.

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I've been updating more on Wordpress lately. Mostly because that's where my work's website is, but also because ....just because. So until I figure out how to auto-feed from there to here, I'll just manually do it. Kind of a pain, but whateva.

Also, I don't think I can do much (with plugins) over there on a free/non-hosted account. So yeah.


Alright.



9.25.11
A friend of mine is in town for the weekend. It was the first time seeing him in several years, and the first time ever meeting his boyfriend. They were both interesting people. My friend has calmed down and matured considerably since we last saw each other, and it was good to hear he has a plan to move back to town (with his new beau). We had Mexican food, went to the zoo, chatted and had a nice time. I have my hopes up at rekindling a friendship – not that we were ever unfriendly with each other, but time and distance changes people.
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